Letter 1 from a grumpy cat

 




09.02.2024



To be sent to the tortured poets department. Constraint: don’t use pronouns. 


Dear recipient, 


Won’t be long. Snippets of information to be sent to humans ALAP (as late as possible). No satisfaction from reading these lines. Clear? Clear. Won’t provide many instructions. Poetry shall be short, but last for long. Like cats, should be furry, lazy and occasionally annoying. Should be flashy, chubby, unshaped. Should show affection playfully by biting and scratching like cats. Leaves marks. Should be like koala: dreamy, tucked into the forks of the trees. 



Quick question. What is code? What is code? What is code? What is code? What is YOUR code? 



Malfunction detected in the web. Some words are overloaded with meaning. 


Love

Loneliness. 

            Grandparents. 

God. 

Me. 

            You. 

We. 

How. 

Provide. 

Cure. 

Scar. 

Feeling.

Father. 

Cancer. 

Society. 

Nation. 

Depressed, 

Stay strong, stay strong, stay strong, stay strong….

            My dog, my cat, 

my my my my my…  



16th century gave us the heliocentric model and America. 

17th century gave us Cartesianism and gravitation

18th century gave us electricity

19th century gave us an explanation of how we evolved

20th century made everything relative and gave us ideologies

21th century gave us identity crises, memes with cats, twitter, Donald Trump, a climate crisis (don’t worry, this is not now), a new virus-KILLER (don’t worry, you can’t see it), Chat teaching us how to speak. 


History is about possessing space. Killing for more space. And we invariably claim our space. Sometimes it’s a body, a country, a language. Sometimes it’s just me, innocently taking all the room in the bed and you, sleeping on your side and falling off the bed. Sometimes it is your cat stealing all your favourite spots in the house. 


Btw: have you heard of social sleeping? 


For thousands of years, it was completely normal to flop down on the bed each night alongside friends, colleagues, relatives – including the entire extended family – or travelling pedlars. When on the road, people routinely found themselves lying next to total strangers. If they were unlucky, this outsider might come with an overwhelming stench, deafening snoring – or worse, a preference for sleeping naked.

 

Ah.... The Bed: this intimacy filled with organic and animalic scents, breathing in it like a pressed flower in a book, hiding from the light in a fetal position, completely exposed, a place where nobody is watching you. How can this be a social activity? 


Instead of asking: did you take your vitamins today, I ask: Did you have your dose of fear today? Apocalypse. So beautiful. I am looking forward to it. 



Best wishes, 


The Grumpy Cat. 





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