Letter 1 from a grumpy cat

 








Checklist 09.02.2024



To be sent to the tortured poets department. Constraint: don’t use pronouns. 


Dear recipient, 


Won’t be long. Snippets of information to be sent to humans ALAP. No satisfaction from reading these lines. Clear? Clear. Won’t provide many instructions. Poetry shall be short, but last for long. Like cats, should be furry, lazy and occasionally annoying. Should be flashy, chubby, unshaped- a bit like a teenager’s body- charged with hormones and tiny bumps. Should show affection playfully by biting and scratching like cats. Leaves marks. Should be like koala: dreamy, tucked into the forks of the trees. 




Quick question. What is code? What is code? What is code? What is code? What is your code? 



Malfunction detected in the web. Some words are overloaded with meaning. 


Love

Loneliness. 

            Grandparents. 

God. 

Me. 

            You. 

We. 

How. 

Provide. 

Cure. 

Scar. 

Feeling.

Father. 

Cancer. 

Society. 

Nation. 

Depressed, 

Stay strong, stay strong, stay strong, stay strong….

            My dog, my cat, 

my my my my my…  



16th century gave us the heliocentric model and America. 

17th century gave us the Cartesianism and gravitation

18th century gave us the electricity

19th century gave us an explanation on how we evolved

20th century made everything relative and gave us ideologies

21th century gave us, identity crises, memes with cats, twitter, Donald Trump, some sort of wars (don’t worry, they are not here), a climate crisis (don’t worry, this is not now), a new virus-KILLER (don’t worry, you can’t see it), ChatGPT teaching us how to speak. 


History is about possessing space. Killing for more space. Making love is also about occupying space. Penetrating the other’s space. And we invariably claim our space. Sometimes it’s a body, a country, a language. Sometimes it’s just me, innocently taking all the room in the bed and you, sleeping on your side and falling off the bed. Sometimes it is your cat stealing all your favourite spots in the house. 



Btw: have you heard of social sleeping? 


For thousands of years, it was completely normal to flop down in bed each night alongside friends, colleagues, relatives – including the entire extended family – or travelling pedlars. When on the road, people routinely found themselves lying next to total strangers. If they were unlucky, this outsider might come with an overwhelming stench, deafening snoring – or worse, a preference for sleeping naked.

 

The Bed: this intimacy filled with organic and animalic scents, breathing in it like a pressed flower in a book, hiding from the light in a fetal position, completely exposed, a place where nobody is watching you. How can this be a social activity? 



if we take away by degrees from our conceptions of a body all that can be referred to experience- colour- hardness or softness weight, even impenetrability- the body will then vanish; but the space which it occupied still remains, and this it is utterly impossible to annihilate in thought’.(Kant). I’ll have lunch and explain it later. 



Instead of asking: did you take your vitamins today, I ask: Did you have your dose of fear today? Apocalypse. So beautiful. I am looking forward to it. 



Best wishes, 


The Grumpy Cat. 










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